Thank you so much for your interest in The Insight, by Sheba. I hope you enjoyed this week’s blogs about “The Tools You’ll Need.”

Next week’s topic will be “Letting Go of Negativity.”

Friday Review: Happy Reading!

1. Do You Know What They Are?

• Tools don’t just materialize ready and willing to help us complete the job at hand. We have to identify then search for the ones we need to sharpen our interpersonal skills. Evaluate yourself. There is  room for improvement. Then choose one area of focus that you would like to improve. Put forth the effort to find the tools that make life easier.

2. “I” Statements.

• We can reduce tension during conflicts if we learn to assume responsibility for our feelings. Don’t be quick to place the blame on the other person. Give them the benefit of the doubt. He or she may not know how their actions or words affected you if you have not told them. Think before you react. If you truly feel justified in your response, then communicate the reasons before you defend them with an “I” statement!

3. Soft Skills.

• The résumé summarizes what you have accomplished, but your soft skills tell people how you will interact with others in any given situation. The ability to interact and work well with other people is just as important as technical skills. Create opportunities to improve your interpersonal skills.

4. Practice.

• Volunteer your time! Not only will you be giving back to the community, but also you will improve your mental health. What better way to practice your interpersonal skills and build new relationships than by giving back to the community? There’s no pressure to perform well, and you’re spending the time to help those in need. Practice makes perfect.

The Insight: Few things we do in life don’t involve social interaction, but we aren’t born with the skills; we develop them through socialization in our personal experiences. Identify the social skills you need according to your chosen career path and your relationships. Recognize also that different cultures have different customs. Different is good, but it’s also something to acknowledge, understand and work through. Take every opportunity available to you to practice interacting with others and improve your skills!

Have a wonderful weekend!

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

A Positive Perspective for Life, Love, and Relationships

The Scenario – You have seen the smiling faces of people who, in spite of work, spouses and children, still find time to volunteer. Are there other benefits to volunteering outside of the personal satisfaction people receive from giving to others?

Can volunteering also help develop interpersonal skills?

A study conducted by Georgia Nigro, Ph.D., Elizabeth McCabe Park and Michelle Vazquez-Jacobus, J.D., found that volunteer work might improve a person’s interpersonal skills.

According to the study, volunteering facilitates:

 1.     Better Retention

• Individuals involved in volunteer projects were able to recall information better over time.

2.     Interpersonal Engagement

• The social interaction participants engaged in during their respective volunteer activities increased social engagements in social settings outside of volunteering.

3.     Community Engagement

• Volunteer participants became more involved in their communities after their volunteer experiences.

(Read More)

The Insight – Volunteer your time! Not only will you be giving back to the community, but also research suggests that positive emotion improves mental health. What better way to practice your interpersonal skills and build new relationships than by giving back to the community? There’s no pressure to perform well, and you’re spending the time to help those in need. Practice makes perfect.

Have you thought about volunteering your time?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

Creating Positive Perspectives for Life

The Scenario – You met with a client and when he or she walked away there was no handshake. You gave someone a compliment and he or she nodded but didn’t say “thank you.” There are cultural differences affecting our communication skills, but the soft skills are those subtleties that speak volumes about who we are as individuals.

How important are interpersonal skills in a professional setting?

According to the U.S. Department of Labor, employers are on the lookout for soft skills, which are the social skills that enable an individual to function well with associates, employers and others in a work environment. In some instances, they can be as important as a person’s technical skills and abilities. The key soft skills employers look for are:

1. Networking

2. Enthusiasm

3. Professionalism

4. Communication skills: verbal and nonverbal

5. Teamwork

6. Problem solving and critical thinking

(Read More)

The Insight – The résumé  summarizes what you have accomplished, but your soft skills tell people how you will interact with others in any given situation. The ability to interact and work well with other people is just as important as technical skills. Create opportunities to improve your interpersonal skills.

What soft skills do you have?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

Creating Positive Perspectives for Life

The Scenario – You keep telling someone, “I feel a certain way in a certain situation.” What do you want them to do with that information?  Do you assume that their actions will change because you’ve expressed your feelings? Just say what you want.

How can we communicate more effectively?

“I” statements are one of the most effective ways to communicate with another person, especially in conflict. By using “I” statements, you remove the blame from the other person and accept responsibility for your own emotions in the situation. This enables the other person to let down his or her defenses and hear your side of things. Goodwill Community Foundation offers a model to follow when structuring “I” Statements:

1.      I feel…

• Identify your emotion.

2.      When…

•  Identify the specific action or event that caused you to feel that way.

3.      Because…

• State how it affects you.

4.      And I want…

• Suggest the change or action you would like the other person to make to atone for or resolve the conflict.

The Insight – We can reduce tension during conflicts if we learn to assume responsibility for our feelings. Don’t be quick to place the blame on the other person. Give them the benefit of the doubt. He or she may not know how their actions or words affected you if you have not told them. Think before you react. If you truly feel justified in your response, then communicate the reasons before you defend them with an “I” statement.

 How often do you use “I” statements?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

Creating Positive Perspectives for Life

The Scenario – You tried to hang shelves without a level or a stud finder. You tried to plan a project without a project time line. You tried to write a book without an outline. In each of these situations, the job was harder without the proper tools. The same is true of interpersonal skills.

What are the necessary tools to build interpersonal skills?

According to Patricia A. Wheeler, Ph.D., interpersonal skills are paramount in any context, but especially in the work environment. In order to build interpersonal skills, the tools she suggests are:

1.     Literature

• Seek and find the literature available to tailor your interpersonal skills to your specific work environment, or the social environment you spend the most time in.

2.     Open Communication With Team Members

• Ask your team for feedback on business matters as well as your performance as a leader.

3.     Formal Evaluations

• Take a test to evaluate your interpersonal skills according to the needs of your company or profession.

4.     Mentors

• Seek the advice and criticism of someone in your field who has more experience than you, or is in a position of authority over you.

(Read More)

The Insight – Tools don’t just materialize ready and willing to help us complete the job at hand. We have to identify then search for the ones we need to sharpen our interpersonal skills. Evaluate yourself. There is always room for improvement. Then choose one area of focus that you would like to improve. Put forth the effort to find the tools that make life easier.

What tools do you need to improve your interpersonal skills?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

Creating Positive Perspectives for Life