Thank you so much for your interest in The Insight, by Sheba. I hope you enjoyed this week’s blogs about “Priorities.”

Next week’s topic will be “Gratitude.”

Friday Review: Happy Reading!

1. What Do You Value?

• In the midst of the holiday hustle and bustle, we tend to forget the reason we’re doing what we’re doing. The people that care about you most would much rather enjoy your company without all of the holiday decorations or the perfectly planned party, than to attend the perfect holiday dinner without your company or hospitality. Make your relationships, not your presentation, your priority and you’re sure to enjoy the holiday.

2. Keep the Peace.

• Have a joke or three and some humorous anecdotes from past holidays ready to use in case you need to diffuse any tension that might arise. Some theorists believe we argue the most with family because we feel connected enough to let our guards down. Don’t be surprised when the tension rises. Instead, try to use humor to bring everyone together.

3. Your Guest List.

• You won’t be the only one affected by negativity—your guests will be too. Create a positive environment and prioritize your guest list. Not only does the company you keep say a lot about who you are as an individual, but it also shapes the environment that surrounds you.

4. Remember the Holiday Spirit.

• Focus on giving thanks this holiday and encourage your loved ones to do the same. Acknowledge to yourself what you are thankful for and why, and take action to show your gratitude. A simple “thanks!” will do the trick!

The Insight: Set your own priorities. You know best what takes precedence in your life, so plan accordingly. This holiday, focus on the spirit of togetherness, giving and gratitude. Show that you prioritize your relationships by honoring your company, and creating a fun and peaceful environment where everyone can feel comfortable. Give thanks, and encourage others to do the same! Happy Holidays!

Have a wonderful weekend!

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

A Positive Perspective for Life, Love, and Relationships

Happy Thanks Giving!

The Scenario – You’ve gathered with friends and family around a table covered with an array of delicious food. Everyone’s laughing and having a great time. Your heart is full and your stomach is about to be fuller. You realize in this moment that you have much to be thankful for.

How can we prioritize giving thanks?

Robert Biswas-Diener, Ph.D., suggests an exercise to get yourself and others thinking about things to be thankful for. The exercise narrows the spectrum from focusing on everything in life that a person has to be thankful for to simply acknowledging what has gone well during the day. Ask the following questions:

1. What went well today?

2. Who contributed to what went well?

3. Who took initiative, volunteered or supported the effort?

4. Did you acknowledge these people? How?

5. What do you feel when you consider these contributions?

6. What do these contributions inspire you to do?

(Read More)

The Insight – Focus on giving thanks this holiday and encourage your loved ones to do the same. Acknowledge to yourself what you are thankful for and why, and take action to show your gratitude. A simple “thanks!” will do the trick!

What will you focus on to keep the holiday spirit?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

Creating Positive Perspectives for Life

The Scenario – You prepare for another Thanksgiving dinner with some minor changes. Last year, you let a friend bring a friend and that person’s mood affected the whole night. Is that possible?

Can one negative person change a positive atmosphere?

Yes. According to the Emotional Contagion Theory, postulated and developed by multiple psychologists over the past two centuries, one person’s emotions and actions can influence and even change the emotions of another person without his or her knowledge. An analysis of the theory, conducted by Elaine Hatfield, Ph.D., John T. Cacioppo, Ph.D., and Richard L. Rapson, Ph.D., delineated the process of contagion:

1.     Mimicry

• We observe the facial expressions, speech and demeanor of another person in conversation and imitate the observed mannerisms.

2.     Feedback

• As we continue to observe and imitate the other person’s behavior, we allow that behavior to influence our perception and emotions regarding that situation.

3.     Contagion

• Engaging in the same mannerisms and demeanor as the person we’ve observed, we then “catch” the emotion that person is feeling.

 (Read More)

 The Insight – You won’t be the only one affected by negativity—your guests will be, too. Create a positive environment and prioritize your guest list. Not only does the company you keep say a lot about who you are as an individual, but it also shapes the environment that surrounds you.

Who’s on your guest list?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

Creating Positive Perspectives for Life

The Scenario – The members of your family are strong willed, stubborn and sometimes hotheaded. Every holiday someone manages to pick a fight, which creates tension in what is supposed to be a merry environment. You could separate the people who tend to disagree into two different rooms, but then you think, they all disagree. Can a sense of humor about things help?

How does humor function in relationships?

According to a recent study conducted by Bethany Butzer, Ph.D., and Nicholas A. Kuiper, Ph.D., it can. The study found that humor plays an integral role in close relationships. The study focused on three specific types of humor:

 1.     Positive Humor

• Humor is used to strengthen the bond in relationships by creating warmth and an area of common enjoyment.

2.     Negative Humor

• Humor is used to discretely raise issues or express hostility without taking responsibility for or immediately addressing personal feelings.

3.     Avoidant Humor

• Humor is used to draw attention away from the conflict and decrease situational strain with laughter and amusement.

(Read More)

The Insight – Have a joke or three and some humorous anecdotes from past holidays ready to use in case you need to diffuse any tension that might arise. Some theorists believe we argue the most with family because we feel connected enough to let our guards down. Don’t be surprised when the tension rises. Instead, try to use humor to bring everyone together.

What role will humor play in your holiday?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

Creating Positive Perspectives for Life

The Scenario – Thanksgiving is just a few days away! You’ve finished your grocery shopping, outlined a menu and made your house presentable. It seems that in the midst of creating the perfect holiday setting, you neglected to cultivate the holiday spirit of hospitality and what that really means. 

Do we set priorities based on what we value in life?

According to the Schwartz Value Inventory, developed by Shalom H. Schwartz, Ph.D., of the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, there are ten different human values, each of which falls into one of three categories. The importance of each category is subject to the person assessing his or her values and life experiences.

1.     Self-Interest

• Self-direction, stimulation, hedonism, achievement and power

2.     Group Interest

• Security, conformity and tradition

3.     Mixed Interest

• Benevolence, universalism

(Read More)

The Insight – In the midst of the holiday hustle and bustle, we tend to forget the reason we’re doing what we’re doing. The people that care about you most would much rather enjoy your company without all of the holiday decorations or the perfectly planned party, than to attend the perfect holiday dinner without your company or hospitality. Make your relationships, not your presentation, your priority and you’re sure to enjoy the holiday.

Do you let what you value shape your priorities?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

Creating Positive Perspectives for Life