Thank you so much for your interest in The Insight, by Sheba. I hope you enjoyed this week’s blogs about “Deflecting Discouragement.”

Next week’s topic will be “Building Resilience”

Friday Review: Happy Reading!

1. Get Out of Your Own Way!

• Letting the past bring you down can affect your health and mental capacities. It takes time and practice, but you can learn from past mistakes and apply those lessons to the choices you make now to positively influence the present and future. Change your perspective so that you can focus on what will move you forward in life. No one can change the past by ruminating over what has already happened. Get out of your own way by learning to let go, living in the moment, and planning for the future.

2. Change Your Surroundings.

• When it comes to changing old habits, it’s less a matter of strength and resistance and more a matter of knowing yourself. Analyze your past surroundings, the people that were in your life, and the influences within your environment. If you find yourself doing the same things in the same environments with the same people, go beyond simply changing your behavior.  Change your environment and consider how the people within that environment may have influenced your reactions.  Avoid putting yourself in situations that cultivate the habits you’re trying to break. As a result, you might recognize a change in behavior and regain your motivation.

3. Make It Happen!

• Motivation starts from within. Believing or seeing yourself in the place you want to be is the first step toward motivating yourself to accomplish your goals. The rest of your energy is then focused on preparing for success, taking action and reevaluating your goals when necessary. If you believe in your personal vision you can make it happen with hard work and tenacity.

4. What’s the Reward?

• Be honest with yourself and stay committed to the goal you’ve set. Small rewards keep us motivated but the reward should be aimed at accomplishing the goal. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else; hold yourself to your personal standards. Use past progress to determine the likelihood of future progress and stay focused. You certainly deserve a reward for the progress you make, but instead of rewarding yourself with something that takes you a step back, choose to reward yourself with something that will push you forward.

The Insight: Motivation requires great personal investment but promises the return of a great reward. While it’s easy to focus on the investment and the reward, we often forget the need for encouragement and the potential run-in with discouragement along the way. Know yourself, know your strengths and weaknesses, forgive yourself, and be honest with yourself. You might be surprised to find out that from start to finish you absolutely have the motivation and the drive to achieve your goals.

Have a wonderful weekend!

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

A Positive Perspective for Life, Love, and Relationships

The Scenario – Accomplishment certainly deserves reward, but not to the detriment of the progress you’ve made.

Can achievement and reward hinder progress?

A study conducted by Ayelet Fishbach, Ph.D., and Ravi Dhar, Ph.D., found that we tend to reward ourselves counterproductively under the assumption that we’ve made substantial progress toward our primary goal. For example, a person on a strict diet loses ten pounds. As a reward, he or she consumes a chocolate bar. The researchers tested the following as influences of this kind of reward system:

1. Individual perception of progress

2. Social comparison as an indication of progress

3. Focusing on goal progress as opposed to goal commitment

4. Overconfident perceptions of likely attainment of future progress

(Read More)

The Insight – Be honest with yourself and stay committed to the goal you’ve set. Small rewards keep us motivated but the reward should be aimed at accomplishing the goal. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else; hold yourself to your personal standards. Use past progress to determine the likelihood of future progress and stay focused. You certainly deserve a reward for the progress you make, but instead of rewarding yourself with something that takes you a step back, choose to reward yourself with something that will push you forward.

How do you reward yourself?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

Creating Positive Perspectives for Life

The Scenario – You’ve tried to motivate yourself to reach your goals but it has not been easy.

What are some suggestions that may help us to maintain motivation?

Sharon K. Parker, Ph.D., Uta K. Bindl, Ph.D., and Karoline Strauss, Ph.D., suggest that being proactive is the main ingredient in motivation. These researchers identified the following key components in proactive motivation and goal attainment:

1.       Visualizing

• Identify a present or potential conflict or opportunity and envision the benefits of addressing that problem or taking that opportunity in the future.

2.       Preparing

• Be specific and intentional in choosing the actions you will take to meet the goal you’ve set.

3.       Implementing

• Put your plan into effect and take action to achieve your goal.

4.       Reviewing

• Analyze your efforts and strive to understand why you either succeeded or fell short of your goal and the results of either outcome.

(Read More)

The Insight – Motivation starts from within. Believing or seeing yourself in the place you want to be is the first step toward motivating yourself to accomplish your goals. The rest of your energy is then focused on preparing for success, taking action and reevaluating your goals when necessary. If you believe in your personal vision you can make it happen with hard work and tenacity.

How will you make it happen?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

Creating Positive Perspectives for Life

The Scenario –Do old habits get in the way of your future goals and affect your motivation?

Why are habits so difficult to change?

A study conducted by David Kurlander, Ph.D., David T. Neal, Ph.D., Wendy Wood, Ph.D., and Mengju Wu found that habits often persist despite personal changes in attitude and goals. The following are primary factors involved in habitual behavior:

1.       Environment

• We tend to associate certain behaviors with particular environments and settings in which we repeatedly performed those behaviors; eventually, those environments trigger those behaviors.

2.       Automaticity

• We tend to form patterns in our behavior until they become automatic and we no longer think about the process or additional actions produced by that pattern of behavior.

(Read More)

The Insight – When it comes to changing old habits, it’s less a matter of strength and resistance and more a matter of knowing yourself. Analyze your past surroundings, the people that were in your life, and the influences within your environment. If you find yourself doing the same things in the same environments with the same people, go beyond simply changing your behavior.  Change your environment and consider how the people within that environment may have influenced your reactions.  Avoid putting yourself in situations that cultivate the habits you’re trying to break. As a result, you might recognize a change in behavior and regain your motivation.

Are you in the same place trying to change your behavior?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

Creating Positive Perspectives for Life

The Scenario – You have moved forward several times but find yourself making decisions that take you back to the place you started.

Do we inhibit ourselves from reaching our goals?

According to Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D., Julia K. Boehm, Ph.D., Fazilet Kasri, Ph.D., and Keri Zehm, Ph.D., some of us have a knack for getting in our own way. “How” you ask? By dwelling on past mistakes and failures. Research suggests that characteristically unhappy people are more prone to dwelling on the past than others and experience the following effects:

1.       Impaired Concentration

• Focusing our thoughts and actions on past events or failures occupies most, if not all, of our mental resources and inhibits our ability to move forward and concentrate on the task at hand.

2.       Cognitive Interference

• Constantly focusing on negative, distressing events diminishes our mental resources causing impairment to memory recall and the ability to concentrate on task-relevant thoughts and actions.

(Read More)

The Insight – Letting the past bring you down can affect your health and mental capacities. It takes time and practice, but you can learn from past mistakes and apply those lessons to the choices you make now to positively influence the present and future. Change your perspective so that you can focus on what will move you forward in life. No one can change the past by ruminating over what has already happened. Get out of your own way by learning to let go, living in the moment, and planning for the future.

Who’s getting in the way of your motivation?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

Creating Positive Perspectives for Life

Thank you so much for your interest in The Insight, by Sheba. I hope you enjoyed this week’s blogs about “What Motivates Us?”

Next week’s topic will be “Influences on Motivation.”

Friday Review: Happy Reading!

1. Peer Pressure.

• Consider the influence your colleagues, peers, family and friends have on your motivation. If they tend to influence you for the better, find an accountability partner or a group to take on the challenge with you. If you find that these social groups tend to discourage you, don’t support or motivate you, then go it alone. In either case, you are more than able to take on any challenge.

2. Want or Need?

• It’s not enough just to want something or just to need something, but together they create an unstoppable motivational force. Check your goals and your priorities. Is what you want really what you need? Is what you need something that you want? If not, why not? Align your needs with your wants for the best source of motivation.

3. Create Imbalance.

• If you’re having trouble finding the motivation to reach your goals, change your way of thinking. Define balance for your life. In recognizing the balance, you also will become aware of any imbalance and naturally seek equilibrium. When we feel comfortable, we feel there is no need for change, but there is always room for improvement. So, go for it!

4. Tricks Up Your Sleeve.

• It all comes down to knowing yourself. Know your interests, your limitations, your abilities and your needs, then set your goals based on these things. You may experience set backs, but as long as you stay motivated and keep at it, you will never fail.

The Insight: Motivation comes from a number of different sources. Some sources we happen to encounter, like our friends and family. Other sources we have to seek or create, perhaps by identifying areas of imbalance. Whatever the case, motivation requires preparation. It’s not enough to simply need something, we also have to want it and be willing to follow through with whatever plan we create to obtain our goals. It doesn’t hurt to have a couple tricks tucked up our sleeves in case we become tired.

Have a wonderful weekend!

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

A Positive Perspective for Life, Love, and Relationships

The Scenario – Wouldn’t life be so much easier if we received a “how-to guide” and had a couple tricks tucked up our sleeves at birth to help motivate us to accomplish our goals?

How can we more easily develop motivation?

Dr. Bill Knaus, Ed.D., co-author of Overcoming Procrastination, suggests twelve practices to maintain motivation and reach the goals you’ve set, however long ago. Here’s the catch: motivation takes preparation. Shape your goals around these tips:

1.       Meaning

• Set goals that are important to you.

2.       Perspective

• Prioritize your time based on the significance and immediacy of your goals.

3.       Commitment

• Measure the strength of your commitment to any goal. Ask yourself: Is it worth the pursuit? What am I willing or unwilling to sacrifice for it?

4.       Plan

• Plan for success. Foresee it in your future.

5.       Self-Efficacy

• Believe firmly in yourself and your ability to handle any task, small or large, necessary to accomplish your goal.

6.       Guard Yourself

• Don’t let the voice of failure and defeat deter you from reaching your goal. Recognize it and combat it immediately!

7.       Now or Never

• Don’t put things off until “later.” Accomplish tasks as soon as you are physically able.

8.       Reward

• Set-up incentives for each goal you accomplish.

9.       Blame Free

• Don’t waste time blaming yourself for failures and setbacks. Instead, move forward and do better the next time around.

10.   Expect Discomfort

• Uncomfortable situations will arise on your way to progress. Prepare yourself for these situations so that you are not stunted or setback by them.

11.   Know Your Limits

• Dream big, but be realistic when setting your goals. Take small steps one at a time towards your dream.

12.  Engage Community

• Tell people about your goal. Find an accountability partner to help keep you on track and measure your progress.

(Read More)

The Insight – It all comes down to knowing yourself. Know your interests, your limitations, your abilities, and your needs, then set your goals based on these things. You may experience set backs, but as long as you stay motivated and keep at it, you will never fail.

What tricks are you hiding up your sleeve?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

Creating Positive Perspectives for Life

The Scenario – You organize your work desk neatly so that everything is straight and symmetrical. You’d know in an instant if something fell out of place and you’d quickly fix it.

Can imbalance motivate us to pursue certain goals?

According to Leon Festinger, Ph.D., and his theory of Cognitive Dissonance, any thoughts we have or events we experience that oppose each other create mental tension. Naturally, the imbalance is undesirable, so we strive to correct it in one of three ways:

1.       Alter Thoughts

• Remove the imbalance by changing one thought to agree with the other opposing thought.

2.       Supplement Thoughts

• Add new thoughts that support one of the two opposing thoughts to make the imbalance greater, which will create partiality toward the thought with more support.

3.       Modify Perceived Importance

• One of the two opposing thoughts may outweigh the other in importance. Shift the level of importance between the two thoughts.

(Read More)

The Insight – If you’re having trouble finding the motivation to reach your goals, change your way of thinking. Define balance for your life. In recognizing the balance, you also will become aware of any imbalance and naturally seek equilibrium. When we feel comfortable, we feel there is no need for change, but there is always room for improvement. So, go for it!

How do you define personal balance?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

Creating Positive Perspectives for Life

The Scenario – You want to go shopping for the last minute sales, but you know you don’t need anything. Do you go or not?

Does needing or wanting motivate us more?

A study conducted by Dr. Julia Schuler and Kennon M. Sheldon, Ph.D., based on both Self-Determination Theory and Motive Disposition Theory, found that motivation toward a goal results from both needing and wanting. The study determined:

 1.       Why we desire what we desire

• What we perceive as a “need” results from both natural incentives, creating the universal psychological needs for competence and relatedness, as well as from culture and socialization, creating needs specific to particular individuals.

2.       What we have influences what we want

• When needs are met, we are satisfied and desire a chronic fulfillment of these needs to be continuously satisfied, thus motivating us to continually pursue those needs.

3.       What we want influences what we have

• What we desire portends the achievement of that desire.

4.       The influence of what we have, need and want on subjective well-being

• When what we want is truly a need and is satisfied as a result of our motivation, we experience greater well-being and optimism.

(Read More)

The Insight – It’s not enough just to want something or just to need something, but together they create an unstoppable motivational force. Check your goals and your priorities. Is what you want really what you need? Is what you need something that you want? If not, why not? Align your needs with your wants for the best source of motivation.

Do you know what motivates you?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

Creating Positive Perspectives for Life

The Scenario – Ever thought your social group might play a part in motivation and decision-making?

Does the need to belong influence how we’re motivated?

In a study conducted at the University of Quebec, Montreal to determine the motivation behind social identity, Catherine E. Amiot, Ph.D., and Sophie Sansfacon, Ph.D., distinguish six types of motivation:

1.       Amotivation

• The belief that associating with social groups will not produce the results one seeks

2.       External Regulation

• One associates with a social group to establish an identity and gain rewards as well as to avoid social criticism or rejection

3.       Introjected Regulation

• One perceives social identity as a measure of self worth, thus he or she is motivated by self-inflicted pressure to associate with a social group

4.       Identified regulation

• A high regard for social identity resulting in the belief that social connectedness is necessary to achieve goals

5.       Integrated regulation

• One identifies with groups that share in his or her deep values and beliefs

6.       Intrinsic motivation

• One identifies with a social group solely for the sake of personal enjoyment and betterment

(Read More)

The Insight – Consider the influence your colleagues, peers, family and friends have on your motivation. If they tend to influence you for the better, find an accountability partner or a group to take on the challenge with you. If you find that these social groups tend to discourage you, don’t support or motivate you, then go it alone. In either case, you are more than able to take on any challenge.

Do you give into pressure or lack of support?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

Creating Positive Perspectives for Life