Thank you so much for your interest in The Insight, by Sheba. I hope you enjoyed this week’s blogs about “Judgments.”

Next week’s topic will be “Encouragements”

Friday Review: Happy Reading!

1.  And Someone Else’s Shoes

• We make assumptions, focus on our own goals, intentionally see and hear what we want to and lose track of what matters the most. Sometimes we simply forget to put ourselves in the shoes of the other person. But try to step in their shoes and admire the change in mindset as a result of personal growth. You might see things from a different perspective.

 2.  A Typical Thought Process

• The drawback with common heuristics or common cognitive bias is that they leave room for error. It takes time and effort to make difficult decisions. Go back to basics, be detailed and make a list of pros and cons. Review the facts and get multiple perspectives. Brainstorm with a group, play the devil’s advocate and poke holes in the final decision. Whatever your method is be thorough in your thought process.

3.  Or Validations?

• The words we choose to talk about others are as important as the words we choose for ourselves. Take the necessary steps to see the positive in yourself and increase your self-esteem. Only then will you be well-equipped to learn to do the same for others.

4. What’s the Big Deal?

• Just as gossip spreads useful information and has protected large groups of people since early humans, so too do judgments. The big deal about sharing our judgments with higher authorities that are skilled and trained to further understand them can be the difference between serving the greater good or not. No, you should not be the one to speak out at all times nor the one who to keeps his or her judgments to themselves. Learn to trust your inner voice and be cognizant of the words you choose when sharing your judgments with a higher authority.

The Insight: When it comes to judgments, it’s best to err on the side of compassionate honesty. Remember to always try to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, be detailed in your thought process, use valuing techniques with yourself as well as with others and remember to share your judgments for the greater good.

Have a wonderful weekend!

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

Creating Positive Perspectives for Life

The Scenario- We make judgments everyday about a situation, a person, news we hear on the radio or what we read. But do you have any kind of moral obligation to share your judgments?

Are we supposed to share judgments, good or bad?

According to John D. Mayer Ph.D., we are obligated to share our judgments. Those who do not share their personal judgments with others could be leaving out valuable information for the group. He calls them “judgment freeloaders” and defines them as people who allow others to make the difficult social judgments about others in their networks or environments. In doing so, the judgment freeloaders let the “judgment-speaker” carry the burden of social heavy lifting.

In other words, if you are in a conference and can’t hear the presenter, are you the one that speaks out and brings it to the presenter’s attention, or do you simply freeload and join the bandwagon after the “judgment-speaker” makes a comment?

The Insight- Just as gossip spreads useful information and has protected large groups of people since early humans, judgments act in the same way. The big deal about sharing our judgments with higher authorities that are skilled and trained to further understand them can be the difference between serving the greater good or not. No, you should not be the one to speak out at all time, nor the person who always keeps his or her judgments to themselves. Learn to trust your inner voice and be cognizant of the words you choose when sharing your judgments with a higher authority.

Do you share your judgments to make the world a better place?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

Creating Positive Perspectives for Life

The Scenario- Do you validate or judge yourself? When you do something “wrong” what does that voice inside of your head say? If you validate yourself, you support, substantiate or endorse your actions. You are accepting of who you are. However, if you judge yourself, you become a critic or an evaluator of yourself and others.

What are your judgments?

According to Margret Paul, Ph.D., co-author of Do I Have to Give Me up to be Loved by You, we all need validation from the time we are born. Empower yourself and create a deeper self-worth by feeding your mind with self-validating statements and awareness.

How to validate yourself:

Step 1: Notice how much you judge yourself and others rather than value yourself and others.

Step 2: Make a list of your feelings associated with your statements about yourself and others.

Step 3: For each negative comment you speak or receive, create a 3:1 ratio with positive, kind, valuing comments to negative judging comments.

Step 4: Reevaluate how you feel with the positive comments.

The Insight- The words we choose to talk about others are as important as the words we choose for ourselves. Take the necessary steps to see the positive in yourself and increase your self-esteem. Only then will you be well-equipped to learn to do the same for others.

Do you judge or value yourself?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

Creating Positive Perspectives for Life

The Scenario- Have you ever made a decision or judgment that you regret? Maybe you used the information you already had and combined it with your experiences. You may have asked a few friends and used popular consensus to make up your mind.

How do you make judgments?

The “Heuristics and Bias” approach to making decisions suggests that people attempt to make complex decisions more manageable. We base judgments on a few “heuristics,” or basic rules, then draw conclusions. Although Amos Tversky and Daniel Kahneman provided the foundations of these concepts, there are additional theories on the cognitive process for making a decision.

Representative Heuristics: Assumptions that a similarity in one aspect leads to similarities in others and is based on what typically happens in that person’s experience

Availability Heuristics: Having bias based on information that is popular and easy to recall

Anchoring and Adjustments: Using a personal value or known number as a starting point to create a judgment without straying from the anchor point

Trial and Error: Trying each option until one works

Framing Heuristics: Reaching conclusions based on the framework in which it was presented

Prospect Heuristic: When we see high risk we focus on loss, and when we see low risk we focus on gain

 
(Read More)

The Insight- The drawback with common heuristics, or common cognitive bias, is that it leaves room for error. It takes time and effort to make difficult decisions. Go back to basics, be detailed and make a list of pros and cons. Review the facts and get multiple perspectives. Brainstorm with a group, play the devil’s advocate and poke holes in the final decision. Whatever your method is, be thorough in your thought process. 

What’s your method?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

Creating Positive Perspectives for Life

The Scenario – You are trying to solve an issue or make a decision with someone very close to you. You’ve known this person for years and would bet your life that you can predict their solution to the problem. When they presented a different set of ideas than what you anticipated, you were surprised and confused. You could not understand how you were not on the same page.

How did you misjudge the situation?

There is much debate and many theories surrounding the term “Theory of Mind,” coined by David Premack, Ph.D. and G. Woodruff. Simply stated, we have an innate ability, which is developed over time with life experience and social interaction, to attach mental states or understand someone’s feelings, beliefs, desires, hopes and intentions. It is how we theorize what is in the mind of others and interpret what we are feeling.

No matter how well we think we know someone, our individual beliefs affect our judgments and are based on life experiences and perceptions of reality.

The Insight - We make assumptions, focus on our own goals, intentionally see and hear what we want and lose track of what matters the most. Sometimes we simply forget to put ourselves in the shoes of the other person. Try to admire the change in mindset as a result of personal growth. You might see things from a different perspective.

When was the last time you put yourself in someone else’s shoes?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

Creating Positive Perspectives for Life

The Scenario- You are trying to solve an issue or make a decision with someone very close to you. You’ve known this person for years and would bet your life that you can predict their solution to the problem. When they presented a different set of ideas than what you anticipated, you were surprised and confused. You could not understand how you were not on the same page.

How did you misjudge the situation?

There is much debate and many theories surrounding the term “Theory of Mind,” coined by David Premack, Ph.D. and G. Woodruff. Simply stated, we have an innate ability, which is developed over time with life experience and social interaction, to attach mental states or understand someone’s feelings, beliefs, desires, hopes and intentions. It is how we theorize what is in the mind of others and interpret what we are feeling. 

No matter how well we think we know someone, our individual beliefs based on varying life experiences and perceptions of reality affect our judgments.

The Insight- We make assumptions, focus on our own goals, intentionally see and hear what we want  and lose track of what matters the most. Sometimes we simply forget to put ourselves in the shoes of the other person. Try to admire the change in mindset as a result of personal growth. You might see things from a different perspective.

When was the last time you put yourself in someone else’s shoes?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

Creating Positive Perspectives for Life