Thank you so much for your interest in The Insight, by Sheba. I hope you enjoyed this week’s blogs about “Defense Mechanisms.”

Next week’s topic will be “Trust.”

Friday Review: Happy Reading!

1. What Do You Do?

• Whether we know it or not, our minds respond to certain situations with what seems to be the best manner of defense to protect us from painful or confusing experiences. To move forward in life without allowing past experiences or fears to stunt our growth, it’s important to understand how we respond to trauma and stress and identify how we can defend ourselves in the best, healthiest manner.

2. Triggers

• The ability to pinpoint the cause of your emotional trigger will help identify your resolution under any circumstances. The more you practice managing your mature defense mechanisms in unexpected even provoked situations, your protective reactions become beneficial to your well-being. Your intended outcome should always be to maintain your personal well-being and put your best self forth.

3. Which Do You Choose?

• It’s perfectly fine and normal to feel down sometimes. It’s what we do with and about those feelings that makes the difference. Redirect any negative thoughts and emotions toward something positive and productive by using some of the techniques listed above. It helps you provide comfort and find meaning through painful, stressful experiences.

4. Do You Listen and Apply?

• While we may learn certain behaviors through which we respond to stress, there are other moments when we experience stress and our bodies take action to prepare us to handle that stress. Pay attention to the signs your body gives you. It’s preparing you to take the necessary action for whatever situation you’re in. Use this information and apply it to your daily life. Take long, deep, slow breaths before choosing your course of action in an emotionally stressful situation.

The Insight: The best way to handle an uncomfortable, unexpected, and unwelcome situation is to prepare yourself to meet it head on. Understand what causes you stress. Identify your natural reactions to those stressors, and work to modify those behaviors if there is a better, healthier response. Most of all, know that it is okay to feel the emotion no matter how trivial the situation may seem to someone else. It’s how we respond to those feelings that makes us stronger and healthier.

Have a wonderful weekend!

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

A Positive Perspective for Life, Love, and Relationships

The Scenario: Have you ever sat in a theater and watched a suspenseful thriller? There is no immediate threat of danger, but the music starts and the anticipation of something scary or unexpected popping up on the screen causes your palms to become sweaty, your heart rate to increase, and the hairs on the back of your neck and arms to stand. Why?

How do our bodies naturally respond to stress?

“Fight-or-Flight” theory, originally developed by physiologist Walter Bradford Cannon, describes our bodies’ natural physiological response to stress caused by a perceived threat of danger:

1. Fight or Flight

• Threat is perceived which activates the sympathetic nervous system
• The sympathetic nervous system releases norepinephrine and adrenaline throughout the body
• The release of hormones causes heart rate and breathing to quicken as well as accelerating the flow of blood  and creating tension in the muscles.

2. Rest and Relaxation

• Threat subsides which activates the parasympathetic nervous system
• The parasympathetic nervous system reduces heart rate and the flow of blood, as well as reactivating digestion and storing energy.

The Insight: While we may learn certain behaviors through which we respond to stress, there are other moments when we experience stress and our bodies take action to prepare us to handle that stress. Pay attention to the signs your body gives you. It’s preparing you to take the necessary action for whatever situation you’re in. Use this information and apply it to your daily life. Take long, deep, slow breaths before choosing your course of action in an emotionally stressful situation.

Do you listen to your body’s distress signals?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

A Positive Perspective for Life, Love, and Relationships

The Scenario: Somewhere in a photo album tucked away in the back of your closet there’s a picture of you in the prime of your high school or college career. As you peer at the picture and relive your fond memories, you can’t help but wonder, “What was going on with my hair, or that shirt? What was I thinking?” You made the conscious decision to have that sense of style. But as an adult, have you given much thought to which coping mechanisms you choose to help you maintain balance when in stressful situations?

Do you choose to practice healthy coping mechanisms?

According to Mark Dombeck, Ph. D. and Jolyn Wells-Moran, Ph. D., emotionally mature, healthy, stable adults choose from the following coping mechanisms to help adapt to life and handle pain or stress.

1. Suppression

• Consciously deciding not to think about stressful or traumatic feelings until a more appropriate time when one is better able to deal with them.

2. Sublimation

• Converting negative feelings into positive, constructive feelings and actions.

3. Altruism

• Using personal experience with pain and stress to help others who may be struggling with similar feelings.

4. Distraction

• Occupying one’s thoughts with something other than the cause of pain and/or stress to redirect thoughts and temporarily reduce the stress.

Other techniques may include

• Keepin a journal
• Exercising
• Meditation
• Talking it out

The Insight: It’s perfectly fine and normal to feel down sometimes. It’s what we do with and about those feelings that makes the difference. Redirect any negative thoughts and emotions toward something positive and productive by using some of the techniques listed above. It helps to provide comfort and to find meaning through painful, stressful experiences.

Which coping mechanism do you choose?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

A Positive Perspective for Life, Love, and Relationships

The Scenario: You have mastered your mature defense mechanisms over the years. Your ability to protect yourself from predictable situations detrimental to your mental, emotional, or physical well-being is almost involuntary. But you have exposed some of your emotional triggers to someone close and when that person is in a bad mood or depressed, your triggers become prey.

What can you do when someone intentionally pushes your trigger points ?

Emotional triggers are situations that create extreme physiological reactions within us. Unmanaged triggers can cause stress and prevent career or personal development.  When being provoked, be sure to harness your mature defense mechanisms and keep the following steps in mind:

Step 1: Take deep breaths

• When you feel your heart beat faster, your temperature rise and your thought patterns become negative, stop and take a few deep breaths. 

Step 2: Identify the trigger

• What statements, actions, or situation caused me to emotionally unravel?

Step 3: Recognize how you feel

• What emotions am I going through?

Step 4: Identify the source of your emotions

• Am I experiencing these emotions because . . .
  • Of my past experiences
  • I am hearing the truth about myself and I don’t like it
  • The information is untrue
  • There is a lack of information
  • They are being condescending to me
  • I feel inadequate

Step 5: Choose your reaction – don’t just react.

• What is your desired outcome and what steps will bring you closer to it?

The Insight: The ability to pinpoint the cause of your emotional trigger will help identify your resolution under any circumstances. The more you practice managing your mature defense mechanisms in unexpected, even provoked situations, the more beneficial your protective reactions become to your well-being. Your intended outcome should always be to maintain your personal well-being and put your best self forth.

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

A Positive Perspective for Life, Love, and Relationships

The Scenario: When you are emotionally threatened how do you protect yourself? Do you fight back? Run and hide?  Act like nothing happened?

How do you defend yourself in an emotionally stressful situation?

George E. Vaillant, M.D., Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, categorizes defense mechanisms in relation to a person’s emotional maturity and psychoanalytical development.

Level 1 – Pathological

• Deliberately misinterpreting, rearranging or ignoring reality to function. Generally characterized as emotionally immature. They may distort reality by creating a misperception of reality or be in denial by refusing to confront the external realities.

Level 2 – Immature

• In adolescence, immature defenses are normal but if they progress into adulthood, they are viewed as out of touch with reality. Immature actions include passive aggression, idealizing, or acting out.

Level 3 – Neurotic

• Common in adults, useful in the short term but with long-term consequences. To avoid emotional stress, they may rationalize and make excuses to convince themselves that nothing is wrong, use isolation or intellectualization tactics to separate the emotion and feelings from the events and threatening ideas or withdraw.

Level 4 – Mature Mechanisms

• Found in emotionally healthy, intelligent and resilient adults. The reactions create feelings of control and pleasure. They may use thought suppression to focus on the issue and suppress the emotions addressing them at a later time, sublimation to transform negative thoughts into positive perspectives and emotions, anticipation to create action items for future discomfort or humor to relieve stress by discussing events in a joking manner.

Read More

The Insight: Whether we know it or not, our minds respond to certain situations with what seems to be the best manner of defense to protect us from painful or confusing experiences. To move forward in life without allowing past experiences or fears to stunt our growth, it’s important to understand how we respond to trauma and stress and identify how we can defend ourselves in the best, healthiest manner.

How do you handle your fears and feelings?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

A Positive Perspective for Life, Love, and Relationships

The Scenario: Have you ever sat in a theater and watched a suspenseful thriller? There is no immediate threat of danger, but the music starts and the anticipation of something scary or unexpected popping up on the screen causes your palms to become sweaty, your heart rate to increase, and the hairs on the back of your neck and arms to stand. Why?

How do our bodies naturally respond to stress?

“Fight-or-Flight” theory, originally developed by physiologist Walter Bradford Cannon, describes our bodies’ natural physiological response to stress caused by a perceived threat of danger:

1.       Fight or Flight

• Threat is perceived which activates the sympathetic nervous system
• The sympathetic nervous system releases norepinephrine and adrenaline throughout the body
• The release of hormones causes heart rate and breathing to quicken as well as accelerating the flow of blood  and creating tension in the muscles.

2.       Rest and Relaxation

• Threat subsides which activates the parasympathetic nervous system
• The parasympathetic nervous system reduces heart rate and the flow of blood, as well as reactivating digestion and storing energy.

The Insight: While we may learn certain behaviors through which we respond to stress, there are other moments when we experience stress and our bodies take action to prepare us to handle that stress. Pay attention to the signs your body gives you. It’s preparing you to take the necessary action for whatever situation you’re in. Use this information and apply it to your daily life. Take long, deep, slow breaths before choosing your course of action in an emotionally stressful situation.

Do you listen to your body’s distress signals?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

A Positive Perspective for Life, Love, and Relationships

The Scenario: Somewhere in a photo album tucked away in the back of your closet there’s a picture of you in the prime of your high school or college career. As you peer at the picture and relive your fond memories, you can’t help but wonder, “What was going on with my hair, or that shirt? What was I thinking?” You made the conscious decision to have that sense of style. But as an adult, have you given much thought to which coping mechanisms you choose to help you maintain balance when in stressful situations?

Do you choose to practice healthy coping mechanisms?

According to Mark Dombeck, Ph. D. and Jolyn Wells-Moran, Ph. D., emotionally mature, healthy, stable adults choose from the following coping mechanisms to help adapt to life and handle pain or stress.

1.       Suppression

• Consciously deciding not to think about stressful or traumatic feelings until a more appropriate time when one is better able to deal with them.

2.       Sublimation

• Converting negative feelings into positive, constructive feelings and actions.

3.       Altruism

• Using personal experience with pain and stress to help others who may be struggling with similar feelings.

4.       Distraction

• Occupying one’s thoughts with something other than the cause of pain and/or stress to redirect thoughts and temporarily reduce the stress.

Other techniques may include

• Keepin a journal
• Exercising
• Meditation
• Talking it out

The Insight: It’s perfectly fine and normal to feel down sometimes. It’s what we do with and about those feelings that makes the difference. Redirect any negative thoughts and emotions toward something positive and productive by using some of the techniques listed above. It helps to provide comfort and to find meaning through painful, stressful experiences.

Which coping mechanism do you choose?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

A Positive Perspective for Life, Love, and Relationships

The Scenario: You have mastered your mature defense mechanisms over the years. Your ability to protect yourself from predictable situations detrimental to your mental, emotional, or physical well-being is almost involuntary. But you have exposed some of your emotional triggers to someone close and when that person is in a bad mood or depressed, your triggers become prey.

What can you do when someone intentionally pushes your trigger points ?

Emotional triggers are situations that create extreme physiological reactions within us. Unmanaged triggers can cause stress and prevent career or personal development.  When being provoked, be sure to harness your mature defense mechanisms and keep the following steps in mind:

Step 1: Take deep breaths

• When you feel your heart beat faster, your temperature rise and your thought patterns become negative, stop and take a few deep breaths. 

Step 2: Identify the trigger

• What statements, actions, or situation caused me to emotionally unravel?

Step 3: Recognize how you feel

• What emotions am I going through?

Step 4: Identify the source of your emotions

• Am I experiencing these emotions because . . .
  • Of my past experiences
  • I am hearing the truth about myself and I don’t like it
  • The information is untrue
  • There is a lack of information
  • They are being condescending to me
  • I feel inadequate

Step 5: Choose your reaction – don’t just react.

• What is your desired outcome and what steps will bring you closer to it?

The Insight: The ability to pinpoint the cause of your emotional trigger will help identify your resolution under any circumstances. The more you practice managing your mature defense mechanisms in unexpected, even provoked situations, the more beneficial your protective reactions become to your well-being. Your intended outcome should always be to maintain your personal well-being and put your best self forth.

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

A Positive Perspective for Life, Love, and Relationships

The Scenario: When you are emotionally threatened how do you protect yourself? Do you fight back? Run and hide?  Act like nothing happened?

How do you defend yourself in an emotionally stressful situation?

George E. Vaillant, M.D., Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, categorizes defense mechanisms in relation to a person’s emotional maturity and psychoanalytical development.

Level 1 – Pathological

• Deliberately misinterpreting, rearranging or ignoring reality to function. Generally characterized as emotionally immature. They may distort reality by creating a misperception of reality or be in denial by refusing to confront the external realities.

Level 2 – Immature

• In adolescence, immature defenses are normal but if they progress into adulthood, they are viewed as out of touch with reality. Immature actions include passive aggression, idealizing, or acting out.

Level 3 – Neurotic

• Common in adults, useful in the short term but with long-term consequences. To avoid emotional stress, they may rationalize and make excuses to convince themselves that nothing is wrong, use isolation or intellectualization tactics to separate the emotion and feelings from the events and threatening ideas or withdraw.

Level 4 – Mature Mechanisms

• Found in emotionally healthy, intelligent and resilient adults. The reactions create feelings of control and pleasure. They may use thought suppression to focus on the issue and suppress the emotions addressing them at a later time, sublimation to transform negative thoughts into positive perspectives and emotions, anticipation to create action items for future discomfort or humor to relieve stress by discussing events in a joking manner.

Read More

The Insight: Whether we know it or not, our minds respond to certain situations with what seems to be the best manner of defense to protect us from painful or confusing experiences. To move forward in life without allowing past experiences or fears to stunt our growth, it’s important to understand how we respond to trauma and stress and identify how we can defend ourselves in the best, healthiest manner.

How do you handle your fears and feelings?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

A Positive Perspective for Life, Love, and Relationships