Thank you so much for your interest in The Insight, by Sheba. I hope you enjoyed this week’s blogs about “Compromise and Sacrifice.”

Next week’s topic will be “Self-Confidence.”

There is a distinct difference between compromise and sacrifice but like everything else in relationships, balance is the most important aspect between two people.

Friday review: Happy Reading!

1. Forks and Spoons.

• Just like forks and spoons, compromise and sacrifice can be used to accomplish the same goal. As long as your efforts are not taken for granted or expected, it’s okay to feel like you’ve lost from time to time if it means the relationship goals have benefitted. Working together to instill trust, form lasting relationships, and reaffirm commitment bonds requires the combined efforts of compromise and sacrifice from all parties involved.

2. What’s Your Ratio?

• A relationship or partnership involves at least two people that share the responsibilities of the commitment. When one person feels like he or she gives, compromises or sacrifices more than the other, the imbalance creates disappointment. Work toward balancing compromise and sacrifice between both partners by striving for positive outcomes, paying attention to the give and take, and encouraging forward thinking.

3. Paper or Plastic?

• Choosing which one of you is next in line to make a sacrifice or compromise becomes a trade off for the sake of the relationship. The choice is not always simple but as long as the result is important, desired, and in time beneficial to both, finding your path together gets easier.

4. Do You Work at it?

• As time passes we sometimes forget that in the beginning phases of a relationship we were motivated to simply make each other happy. Reintroduce that goal into your relationship, take care of one another and compromise and sacrifice will work themselves out.

The Insight: Compromise is ambiguous and may leave one partner feeling like they have lost whereas sacrifice is decisive and direct. Sacrifice allows the giver to feel like he or she has won. They can overlap, be perceived as positive in respect to benefitting the relationship and are understood as signs of commitment. As long as there is balance between what compromises or sacrifices that you and your partner invest in the relationship, then long lasting relationships are formed.

Have a wonderful weekend!

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

A Positive Perspective for Life, Love, and Relationships

The Scenario: In the beginning of relationships we all sacrifice with ease. You may not like his or her friends but still you invite them to dinner. You may not like his or her favorite restaurant but still you find yourself eating there…often. Then, as time goes on, you declare that you will never spend time with those people and you refuse to eat at that horrendous restaurant again. When did you stop working on the compromises and sacrifices that made you both happy? How do you work at sacrifice and compromise when it’s no longer that easy?

Consider the Following:

1. Objectives:

• What resolution do you want? What does the other party want? Work to find a win-win.  Make it fun and remember the goal.

2. Exchange:

• If your objectives do not match the other party’s objectives, consider other things you might exchange or negotiate to compensate for any imbalance in the outcome;)

3. Relations:

• If it is a long-term, deeply-rooted relationship then sensitivity to the other person’s needs shows how much you care. Be selfless. Remember that your partner’s happiness is just as important as your own.

4. Options:

• Create options for both of you.  Be open to different options and go back to the drawing board if necessary to create a new experience from which you both can benefit.

5. Costs:

• Consider the costs or consequences of the compromise or sacrifice to both parties involved?

The Insight: As time passes, we sometimes forget that in the beginning phases of a relationship we were motivated to simply make each other happy. Reintroduce that goal into your relationship, take care of one another and the compromise and sacrifice will work of themselves out.

Do you put forth the effort required to reach a common resolution?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

A Positive Perspective for Life, Love, and Relationships

Paper or plastic? Do you choose a non-biodegradable plastic bag and compromise the integrity of the environment, or the paper bag that sacrificed the life of a tree? A similar dilemma occurs in relationships. But how do you choose?

What are some questions to ask when deciding who compromises or sacrifices?

1. What is the Importance?

• What is the importance and potential effects of the issue at hand to you and to your partner? Values, morals and beliefs are worth discussing when making decisions.

2. What’s Your Motivation?

• Is the result making you or the relationship better? Both parties are motivated to take action when the intended change in behavior is based on the desire to improve the relationship and not personal preference or convenience.

3. Who Benefits Now or Later?

• When in a lasting committed partnership, time plays an important role in sharing the responsibilities. You benefit now and your partner benefits later or vice versa.

The Insight: Choosing which one of you is next in line to make a compromise or sacrifice becomes a trade off for the sake of the relationship. The choice is not always simple, but as long as the result is important, desired, and in time beneficial to both, finding your path together gets easier.

What is the first question you ask when deciding if you want to compromise or sacrifice?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

A Positive Perspective for Life, Love, and Relationships

The Scenario: Is your 1:1 cream to sugar ratio off in your coffee? Is your coffee too sweet or too bitter? If the ratio is off, according to individual taste, your craving will not be satisfied. Relationships work the same way. If the compromise to sacrifice ratio is not balanced by both partners, the relationship suffers and expectations are not met.

How do you make sure that doesn’t happen in your relationship?

1. Strive for a Positive Outcome

• Focus on the common goal to ensure that both parties make decisions to compromise or sacrifice for the benefit of the greater good.

2. Take Note of the Give and Take

• Relationships by nature are give and take. Certain situations may involve one partner to sacrifice or compromise more than the other. Take note, be honest and recognize when it is your turn.

3. Encourage Forward Thinking

• Think outside the box. Move past the boundaries of previous resolutions and nurture innovation when deciding how to take action.

The Insight: A relationship or partnership involves at least two people who share the responsibilities of the commitment. When one person feels like he or she gives, sacrifices, or compromises more than the other, the imbalance creates disappointment. Work toward balancing compromise and sacrifice between both partners by striving for positive outcomes, paying attention to the give and take, and encouraging forward thinking.

What is the compromise to sacrifice ratio in your relationship?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

A Positive Perspective for Life, Love, and Relationships

The Scenario: Forks and spoons serve two unique functions when it comes to eating – a spoon scoops and a fork stabs. However, when eating linguini in Greve, a little town in Tuscany, your server will give you a spoon and a fork so that you can use them together to accomplish one goal…finish your pasta.

When does compromise and sacrifice work together to achieve your relationship goals?

In relationship studies, compromise is defined as reaching some sort of agreement by giving up something to gain something else of higher value and feeling like you’ve lost. Sacrifice is defined as reaching some sort of agreement by giving up something to gain something else of higher value and feeling like you’ve won.

According to Stanley Scott, research professor at the University of Denver, sacrificing for one another in a relationship is a sign of commitment between partners. Therefore, a compromise can also be viewed as a sign of commitment.

The Insight: Just like forks and spoons, compromise and sacrifice can be used to accomplish the same goal. As long as your efforts are not taken for granted or expected, it’s okay to feel like you’ve lost from time to time if it means the relationship goals have benefitted. Working together to instill trust, form lasting relationships, and reaffirm commitment bonds requires the combined efforts of sacrifice and compromise from all parties involved.

Do you compromise and sacrifice for the bigger goals in your relationship?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

A Positive Perspective for Life, Love, and Relationships