Thank you so much for your interest in The Insight, by Sheba. I hope you enjoyed this week’s blogs about “Accepting.”

Next week’s topic will be “Leadership.”

What resonated the most for me was first remembering to accept people for who they are today – not how they used to be or what we thought they should be. Work with who that person has developed into and be flexible to allow for growth and further change. These are things we all know but sometimes forget. The second thing that hit home for me was “The Effects of the Like.” I knew there was a reason Facebook is loved by millions around the world and why we spend over 700 billion minutes per month on it. That is social acceptance social media style.

Friday Review: Happy Reading!

1.     People as they Are.

• We limit our own capacity for change, stunt the growth of other individuals, and restrict development of the relationship by requiring others to conform to our personal expectations. If, instead, we open ourselves to change, our behavior encourages people to practice and reciprocate the same openness toward change.

2.     The Effects of the “Like.”

• Positive interpersonal relationships and social acceptance directly influence and increase self-esteem. Harness the effects of being social and create more opportunities to increase your self-esteem.

3.     Images of You.

• Our actions, attitudes, sense of style, and opinions are greatly influenced by our closest friends and relatives. Gravitate toward people that hold your attributes in high regard but be mindful not to allow these influences to define you or take precedence over personal values and beliefs.

4.     Your Amazing Self Today.

• Self-acceptance requires constant effort and self-evaluation, placing value in yourself, negative and positive attributes alike, and in the journey. Accept yourself for each of these aspects, and recognize the contribution each has made to the person you are today.

The Insight: Openness and acceptance toward others begins with openness and acceptance within ourselves.  Don’t make it your purpose to change others, instead seek to understand and accept differences within your relationships.

Have a wonderful weekend!

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

A Positive Perspective for Life, Love, and Relationships

The Scenario: You met your significant other on his or her “Girls or Guys” night out. When you began dating, the tradition stopped and you committed to being with each other instead. Now, spring is coming and he or she is ready to hang with friends again, without you. You thought this behavior changed but it hasn’t.

How do we learn to accept others for who they are and be flexible when behaviors change?

1.     Identify why it’s difficult to accept the change in behavior and address the issue. Is it something that has a negative effect on the relationship or on the person? Or is it a matter of your own preference, insecurity, inconvenience, or unwillingness to be open and understanding to the other persons needs?

2.     Consider perspective. Make an effort to understand what meaning or value of the behavior you want to change has to the other person. Does it make him or her happy no matter how silly or obscured it seems to you? Is it healthy? Does it relieve stress?

3.     How would you feel if the roles were reversed ? Put yourself in their shoes. Would you be willing to change your behavior given the same circumstance?

4.     Embrace Independence. Accept the differences in behavior and see it as an opportunity to discover what behaviors make you happy. Allow independence and personal space. Be involved by supporting behaviors that are beneficial to your significant other.

5. Make a List: Make list of words that describe a person’s personality, positive traits and habits. When you read the descriptions it helps to better understand people for who they are as they are. Trying to shape others into who we want them to be is a good indicator of a need for change in our own lives.  Accept people for who they are as they are and be flexible to allow the other person to grow and change.

The Insight: We limit our own capacity for change, stunt the growth of that person as an individual, and restrict development of the relationship by requiring him/her to conform to our personal expectations. If we, instead, open ourselves to change, our behavior encourages people to practice and reciprocate the same openness toward our changes.

Do you know how to accept people for who they are as they are?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

A Positive Perspective for Life, Love, and Relationships

Thank you so much for your interest in The Insight, by Sheba. I hope you enjoyed this week’s blogs about “A Roadmap for Change.”

Next week’s topic will be “Taking the first step.”

I truly enjoyed writing about what it takes to create a roadmap for change. We all talk about so many aspects of our lives that we want to change but don’t fully understand the commitment needed, lean on technology for support, or convert our goals into a life time of enjoying the journey. If we remember to spend that ten percent of energy on ourselves, we would find the time to focus on our roadmaps for change.

Friday Review: Happy Reading!

1.     Why hasn’t Google® Created It?

• If you spend time identifying the purpose and goals of the change you want, documenting the desired outcome, envisioning success, creating the specific action items, and celebrating accomplishments along the way, then the realistic, attainable change you want is achievable.

2.     To a Healthier Lifestyle.

• When you take time to document your steps while on your path to success and employ technology to support your roadmap, enjoying the journey soon becomes a way of life.

3.     Alleviate the Chaos.

• Once you designation  time to work out the details of your roadmap for change you will better understand the commitment needed to successfully make the change you want.

4.     To Kelly Green?

• Once you have determined what you have and what you want, you can begin to create a roadmap for change.

The Insight: Take inventory of what you have, determine what you want to change, create a healthy lifestyle journey, commit to yourself and celebrate your success. That’s what a roadmap for change is all about. Invest in you and spend time to make change happen.

Have a wonderful weekend!

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

A Positive Perspective for Life, Love, and Relationships

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

The Scenario: How do you change blue paint to the perfect shade of kelly green? Simply add yellow. Right? Well…How much? What shade of yellow? What shade of blue do you have to start with? What is the perfect shade of kelly green?

Can you prepare a roadmap for change without knowing exactly what you have and exactly what you want?

Before you begin to create your plan you must have three things:

1.     The starting point

• The starting point is the inventory of what you have today and a vision of the where you want to be.

2.     The change

• Know what is in the inventory to support your transition and know you want to change.

3.     The endpoint

• High level strategies to reach your endpoint.

The Insight: Once you have determined what you have and what you want, you can begin to create a roadmap for change.

What do you want to change?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

A Positive Perspective for Life, Love, and Relationships

The Scenario: You wanted to create a roadmap to change your current place of employment but didn’t have the time. You hastily signed up with a few job search engines and they are all spamming, you contacted a couple of recruiters and they keep calling you at work, you posted your resume on job sites but your quick modifications have led to unsightly and unprofessional typos. No roadmap equals chaos.

Should you have created a roadmap to change jobs before you started the search?

Yes. All maps start with a calendar of allotted time to focus on creating the plan to change. Whether it is an hour a day or an hour a week you have to allocate time, put in on the calendar, and commit to work on your roadmap for change.

Monday to Thursday options for daily or weekly activity (Estimated 4.5 available hours)

• 5:30 to 6:00am – review submission, new listings, and potential job opportunities
• 1:00 to 2:00pm or 5:30 to 6:30pm – be available and set realistic expectations for conversations with prospective employers. Most future employers will appreciate that you are not using company time to advance your own interests.
• 7:30 to 8:30pm – revise resume to highlight skills applicable for specific position
• 8:30pm – send to friend to proofread, be active on job finding sites
• 9:30pm – send submissions for any new positions

Saturday and Sunday (Estimated 4 available hours)

• 11:00am to 1:00pm repeat all bullets except for the second bullet

The Insight: Once you put aside real-time to work out the details of your roadmap for change you will better understand the commitment needed to successfully make the change you want. To make change you have to spend time.

What is the total amount of hours you dedicated toward the change you want?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

A Positive Perspective for Life, Love, and Relationships

The Scenario: So you want to create a roadmap for change to a healthier physical life and lose weight. Currently, you work out a little, eat kind of healthy when you feel like it, drink plenty of water, and get as much sleep as possible. Does that sound specific enough to measure progress?

Does a roadmap for change need to include a method to measure progress?

Yes. But let technology be your aid. There is a plethora of support tools that can help us attain our weight goals like dotfit.com. But what does that technology really do? It allows us to measure our success by documenting our steps along the way.

When you see it in black and white, losing weight is simple.

Workout Regime

• 3500 calories burned equals one pound of fat burned
• Female 30 something years old weighing 1?? cannot consume more than 1200 calories a day
• Burning 500 a day seven days a week equals one pound of fat burned per week
• Cardio for 30 to 45 minutes per workout
• 30 minute weight training should alternate between upper or lower body per work out
• Sleep for at least 7.5 hours a day

Average Meal Plan

• 7:00am – Boiled Egg, whole-wheat toast, fruit, yogurt, and or granola
• 10:00am – Cereal, fat-free milk, oatmeal, or bran muffin
• 1:00pm – Broiled, baked, steamed, grilled, steak, fish, chicken, pork, turkey, sushi, vegetables, and salad
• 4:00pm – Cheese, yogurt, fruit, live uncooked vegetables, or nuts
• 6:30pm – Broiled, baked, steamed, grilled, steak, fish, chicken, pork, turkey, sushi, vegetables, and salad

The Insight: When you take the time to document your steps while on your path to success and employ technology to support your roadmap, enjoying the journey soon becomes a new way of life.

What does your roadmap to a healthier lifestyle include?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

A Positive Perspective for Life, Love, and Relationships

The Scenario: What would your ideal roadmap for change look like? Why hasn’t Google® created one for us? Wouldn’t it be great if we could use Google maps to create a personal plan for change?  We could enter destinations to the right of those green encircled letters like A. lose 15 lbs in a day, B. travel around the world for a year, and C. have $20 million in the bank for life. Then, simply click the “get directions” tab and a detailed plan of how to accomplish each goal would be delivered in a matter of seconds. I’m sure they are working on it. In the meantime, what does a roadmap for change look like?

How can you create your personal roadmap for change?

In my search for answers I’ve uncovered the following guidelines:

Phase 1: Identify the purpose and goals of the proposed change

• Why do I want to change?
• What goals to I want to achieve?
• What does achieving that goal mean to me?
• How much am I willing to invest?

Phase 2: Document the desired outcome and envision success

• What does the result look like?
• What do I feel like when I have accomplished that goal?
• How do the results benefit and impact me?
• How will the results benefit and impact others?

Phase 3: Create the specific roadmap or action items needed for change (include the following)

• Scope – What are the tasks associated with the change?
• Time frame – When would you like to complete the change?
• Resources – Who is supporting you through this journey?
• Milestones – At what points will you celebrate achievement?
• Goals – Create short-term and long-term goals to measure success.
• Metrics – How will you measure success?
• Dependencies – Identify then remove them. Success depends on you.
• Reevaluate – Make sure that the methods you use will achieve the results you want.

Phase 4: Celebrate accomplishments along the way.

The Insight: If you spend time identifying the purpose and goals of the change you want, documenting the desired outcome, envisioning success, creating the specific action items, and celebrating accomplishments along the way, then the realistic, attainable change you want is achievable.

What does your roadmap for change look like?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

A Positive Perspective for Life, Love, and Relationships

Thank you so much for your interest in The Insight, by Sheba. I hope you enjoyed this week’s blogs about “Managing Change.”

Next week’s topic will be “A Roadmap for Change.”

Friday Review: Happy Reading!

Being a change agent myself I like to focus on two simple aspects. First, change is not permanent. So when in the middle of a transitional phase it helps to remember that it is temporary and everything will stabilize soon. Second, what once was changed is now the current situation so accept it as it stands today and move forward.

1.     How Do You Handle It?

• No matter how you react to receiving the news of change, the process to make something different takes time but it is a temporary transition. Then you regroup, rebuild, and that new place is no longer new.

2.     Cupcakes and Fries?

• When we view change as three manageable steps it becomes easier to envision success, create the plan to change, and most importantly, set the new standards as the norm.

3.     What’s Your Role?

• Knowing your role in the change process allows you to put forth your best efforts and accomplish the goal. If your role is not clear, ask questions to better define your responsibility in the process and help clear the path to success.

4.     Don’t be Afraid.

• Don’t let your fears overshadow the wonderment of change. When you discover that the action items used to tackle the consequences of your fears are manageable, you will embrace change from a positive perspective.

The Insight: Understanding the complexities of change begin with knowing how you react, creating a plan, understanding your role in the process and overcoming your fears of change. Have you noticed how you manage change?

Have a wonderful weekend!

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

A Positive Perspective for Life, Love, and Relationships

The Scenario: Your significant other or partner says, “you’ve changed” or “you’re not the person you were years ago.” At first you are offended but then you think about it and realize that yes, you have grown and developed into the person you are today. You are wiser and more experienced because of the situations to which you’ve been exposed. And you know that change is a wonderful, healthy, natural part of life.

If change is so healthy, why do some people fear it?

Write down five reasons you may fear change. Then answer three questions: Why are you afraid, what do you think will happen, and what are the action items to overcome the consequences associated with that fear?

There are four main reasons we fear change:

1. Fear of failure: Fearful of criticisms, being judged, making mistakes, rejection or not succeeding.

2. Fear of losing the past: Fearful of losing focus on the way things were. It is easier to remember what was than to accept what is and work toward what you want for your future.

3. Fear of success: Fearful of the societal stigmas attached with winning or succeeding and the responsibilities associated with it.

4. Fear of the unknown: Not wanting to meet or accept anything that is unfamiliar.

The Insight: Don’t let your fears overshadow the wonderment of change. When you discover that the action items used to tackle the consequences of your fears are manageable, you will embrace change from a positive perspective.

Are you afraid of change?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

A Positive Perspective for Life, Love, and Relationships

The Scenario: Change is looming in the future of your organization and you know it. The first set of questions you ask revolves around your role in the new organizational chart. Do you embrace and lead the change, sit back and let it happen or support it?

Are there specific roles in the change process?

Yes. Each of the following five roles play an important part in the change process.

1.     Change Advocate: The person who wants change to happen and has influence over its success.

2.    Change Target: The person most affected by the change and who performs tasks involved with the change.

3.    Change Sponsor: The person with the authority to request that the “target” adheres to the change.

4.    Change Agent: The person responsible to assist the “target” with the change.

5.    External Influencer: A person or persons that has been able to influence any of the four roles to make the change occur.

For change to successfully take place all the roles must work together to accomplish the change goal.

The Insight: Knowing your role in the change process allows you to put forth your best efforts and achieve the goal. If your role is not clear, ask questions to better define your responsibility in the process and help clear the path to success.

What role do you play in the change process?

By Sheba

www.bySheba.com

A Positive Perspective for Life, Love, and Relationships